Note #016

Taking Perspective, Yet Again

I’ve now come to really know, like “conocer” versus “saber” in the Spanish language, that perspective taking is an on-going practice - with all things, in all experiences, and within all relationships.  We must continually be taking perspective, letting go of the idea that I know what’s happening in any given situation, that I understand another and what they’re thinking or how they see the world.

On some days, I feel like a complete fool who knows nothing as I repeatedly take perspective. Especially in the times when I’m with someone I know very well, and yet again, I find myself surprised at their response, then their lack of response, then their changing of the subject. I feel like I cannot get footing in the continual shift of perspective, like looking into an abstract piece of art when one moment I think I see what the artist is portraying, then the image swims in my eyes and my mind and I’m lost in color and shape and distance and have no idea what I’m seeing, even as the docent patiently explains where to put my focus and how those lines intersect and that little blob of red?, just there?, that’s a so-so. Can’t you see it?

Sometimes, no. I just cannot see it. As much perspective as I take and retake, I cannot get inside another’s head and see and understand the world like they do. I must see the world from my own experience, from my own mind. I can try to weave in the perspectives of others, yet my perspective is mine and theirs is theirs. On occasion, we’ll get lucky and find that our perceptions are similar, enough so that we say we agree. Lucky moment!

And we keep trying, we keep trying to understand each other. In the trying, even when we fail to truly see the other’s perspective, we gain compassion. If we’re really open and not clinging to “my ideas is right” or the only way. It is through openness during the perspective taking that the compassion and patience can unfold. 

So, yes, take perspective. Take it often. And, be patient. Be kind. Listen to understand. Let go of needing to be right, of needing to “win”. Breathe. A lot. And let compassion bloom in your heart as you give your time (which some say is a manifestation of love), to another. Let perspective and patience and time move you toward love and compassion. That’s how you really can be “right”.